Houston....We have a vagina!

So, I didn't realize I hadn't gotten on here to share the news. It's a girl. Now if this baby is born with a penis I'll be a little upset. Before I was fine with boy or girl. but now I've been told girl. I already have HER room imagined in my head. I have already pulled out HER clothes in my "oh that is cute and on sale, I can't pass it up" plastic bin I have been collecting during frequent baby phases the last two or three years. I have already started talking to HER. And tonight i believe I felt HER movement! (though I'm a little worried because she made her presence known while I was watching "Rock of Love Girls: Now"!) And I have given HER a name.

Lainey Pauline...

Pauline after Mema. And Lainey just because I have loved it for several years now. She has already got nicknames too. Lainey Bug. Lainey Lou.

I am so excited to meet her. You should see her little toes in the ultrasound picture. And here are some of the things that were said during the ultrasound and later while viewing the US pix...

"boy...It looks like she is talking up a storm"
"I think she is snapping her fingers."
"She must be singing!"
"Umm...Shelby...can you say Jersey Shore? It totally looks like she is fist pumping!"

That's my girl!

It's October 11!!!

I am 19 weeks today. My appointment is at 4 this afternoon. Hopefully, I will find out if it is a boy or a girl. this whole time I have felt like it's a girl. Now, I really don't care either way. All I want is a healthy baby, and I do mean that. I love baby boys AND baby girls. But I'm feeling it's a girl. Mama thinks (or wants) girl. M thinks (or wants) girl. Gay J wants to be an Aunt to a girl. I also had my 3rd or 4th girl dream the other night. I kinda think that now if they say boy I might be a tad disappointed. Oh, I won't cry or anything, but just a teensy weensy disappointed.

T and C are calling boy. At least, C is. Z just sent me a text calling boy. So this is going to be really fun to find out.

Pink or blue?! Blue or pink?

Scarin' the Boy Toy

So, I feel like I have mentioned the fact that I visited "CougarVille" about a year ago. Maybe I didn't. But in order to tell this story, I have to let you know. I visited Cougarville. In August '09. And I've visited several times since then. What can I say? Ain't no shame in my game.

On with the story....so I'm 37. He's 22. Shut up! He's older...than when we started back when he was, oh, 21. LOL This past spring he got a girlfriend, and our visits ended. Oh how I missed those trips, but the memories were great.

And, lo and behold, about 3 weeks ago I started getting texts that let me know THIS FABULOUS 37 YEAR OLD was on his mind something fierce. (and the girlfriend is still in the picture) Now, he didn't know I was pregnant and at the time I felt like I could get away with a bloated stomache. However, the first night he called I felt like shit and my legs weren't shaved. And I had no energy to get up at 1 in the morning and shave 'em. A week later another text. Well, I shaved those legs and we made a "date". But about 30 minutes before that, I started feeling a little crappy, I was crying about all the 9-11 stuff I was watching on the history channel, and I was having a concience about his girlfriend - a girl who looks very sweet and has never done anything to me. So I made up some lie and got out of it.

well, this past weekend I told my friend GayJ who is also a mutal friend with Hottie BoomBottie. We thought it would be funny to finally let the cat out of the bag, so GayJ sends a message.

GayJ- "Holy shit! did you know? I just found out S is pregnant!"
HBB- (within a minute buy the way, when it usually takes 30 or more) "ARe you serious? Who's the Daddy?"
GayJ - "YOU!"
HBB- "SHUT UP!"

I bet we made the poor thing shit in his pants!!!! GayJ cleared the joke up and I texted with him later. All is good. But I knew the minute he heard that I was 4 or 5 months pregnant, he would freak and then do a quick count of the last Cougarville visit. he was safe by a month!!!! LOL

And do I even have to tell you people that have been pregnant before how freakin' horny I am!!!! I'm still trying to figure if I can get away with the "just bloated" look. Guess I'll just have to wait until next summer to take my next vacation to Cougarville. That's just sad.

Really?!

There are just some things happening to me that make me go....really? Seriously? Double. You. Tee. Eff.

 Here are just some random things about pregnancy I just love. (Sarcasm intended, folks.)

Gagging....
I can be walking through my house, and out of the blue,  I just gag. It is quite annoying. But, thank God, it's just that and NOT puking. I couldn't handle both.

Peeing...
my ass and the toilet seat should be BFF's by now, as much as I go to the bathroom. I'm so over the peeing.

My nipples....
Seriously. They crack me up. I literally laugh when I get a glimpse of them. I just wish I had someone to show them to. I mean, I could show them to Charlie, but he's blind. And he's a dog. So even if he wasn't blind, he wouldn't find the humor in these crazy ass things! If I had a fella, I would so be that chick that walks into the room or yells from the bathroom, "Baby, check these things OUT!" But I can't. Damn it.

Someone that is not elevated to "close friend" status but "acquaintance" status touching my belly...
WTF?! Really, did you just do that dude? Yes, this was a man! Did you seriously just effin' touch my stomach? While I find you very nice, we are not close enough for you to freakin' do that!

Creepy old(er) men....Okay, so this has nothing to do with being pregnant. I'm just over them. don't grab me. don't hug me. Don't try to flirt with me. And seriously DO NOT comment on my tee shirt which says "bite me" and say, "I told you about wearing that naughty shirt. I oughta take you out back and spank you." Seriously....okay, we'll go out back, and I will go ghetto on your ass and whoop the shit out of you, you effin' creep. I get riled up just thinking about it!

Maternity pants....
I love 'em!!! And the sarcasm has been dropped. I....LOVE...THEM...first of all, my favorite things to live in are comfy shorts with their elastic waistband. I mean, I live in my purple PINK shorts, so why wouldn't I love comfy maternity pants. They are fabulous. Just fabulous. I heart you elastic waistband.

Tomorrow is the end of my days at the part time job. I've been dreading going in the past two or three weekends, but I suck it up becasue I love the extra money. But last Sunday, I was so put out by any request no matter how trivial that I was in permanent "F*ck You" state of mine. The little grandma that asked me for a straw....sure, I"ll get you a straw. F*ck you." Yeah, it's time to go.

I'm a Poser.

Today I was informed I really should get on the waiting lists at any daycares I might be interested in. Well, there are 2 I have in mind. So I went. And talked to the people in charge. And saw the baby rooms. And got the details on prices and the such.

And I felt like a complete dumbass the whole time. Seriously. A dumbass.

The whole idea of me there with my silly little maternity shirt and pants on asking about these things was just so foreign to me that all I could think was, "They probably think I'm a dumbass." I really did have the thought that the lady at the first place thought I was probably just playing a practical joke on her.

I know in the coming months I'm going to feel this way many times. But it was weird. Just. Plain. Weird.

I heart Chic-fil-A.

I have been M.I.A. I know. But here I am again. I'll give you the rundown as I know it.

For about 6 weeks I was absolutely fucking miserable. there is no other way to put it. FUCKING MISERABLE. There is no sugar coating it. I know it could have been worse. I never threw up. But from 11 in the morning til 11 at night, I felt like it For 5 to 6 weeks. The whole time. And it got worse as the day went on. I was so miserable I went days without checking email. (GASP!) Days without facebook. (HORRORS!) I didn't want to talk to anyone. All I wanted to do was exist from 8 to 4 and then immediatly come home and lay on my couch until I could slip into a sleep like existence, where for a few short hours I may have felt bad but I didn't know.

And on top of that, it seems that being pregnant and miserable sent me into somewhat of a depression. I had morbid thoughts. I went to two appointments, both times expecting them to tell me that I wasn't pregnant and that I was going to have another D&C. I had such morbid depressed thoughts that I won't even utter out loud those thoughts. Not to anyone. let's just leave it at they were bad.

once around 10 weeks I KNEW I had had a miscarriage, and there was no way that I was going to hold out 12 weeks with a dead baby in me.(some of those negative thoughts I was carrying around) So I called the doctor with a lie. I was bleeding. I wasn't. That was the lie. But I knew when I added that the baby was measuring small and that I had a previous miscarriage that they would give me an ultrasound. Sure enough they did....and the baby was fine.

And then after 5 weeks of an utter miserable exsistence, seasonal allergies hit. You know....when our summer (100 degrees) turns to fall (90 degrees)...And I couldn't take my prescription meds. I had to try Claritin. IT SUCKS. I had to try Benadryl. IT SUCKS. On to Zyrtec and wondering what i was going to do if that fucking didn't work!And after a week I broke down and finally let someone in on a little bit of how I was feeling and M got to be my therapist. Thank God for friends that just let you cry.

If I was asked one more time, "Are you excited?" I thought I might fucking scream. I was too sick to feel excited. I was too scared to feel excited. "NO." is all I replied. Because I couldn't explain my thoughts and feelings in my head without someone committing me. NO.NO.NO.NO.NO. I'm not excited. I'm adopting next time.

And that's how I felt until my 16 week appointment last week. The allergies had subsided. (Yeah Zyrtec!) But  I went in with the same dread that there would be no heartbeat. And there was one. And I came away from that appointment feeling different. Oh, I'm still scared. But no longer feeling miserable. It's real. And I've been able to start walking again (oh, how I missed excercising...I could do nothing but lay on the couch), and i started catching up at work....And I've just been a different person this week than I have been for the last 6.

And on October 11th I find out if it's a boy or girl!!!! Mama is already calling girl. Noone else has made any predictions. I'm thinking girl. But we'll see.

As for the mundane things. I have had no real aversions to any foods. If I'm "craving" anything it is fruit (strawberries and plums are a definite favorite), italian ice and popsicles, pickles (it's a must I keep a jar in my frig at all times) and most recently Chic-Fil-A. I have had this last one two nights in a row, and I could honestly eat another right now. I have gained 11 pounds. some days I'm pooched out. Some days not so much. I wear maternity pants because I don't like the rubber band trick or the belly band thing. I'm all for comfort. And they are comfortable. I have begun telling more and more people. I'm trying to tell the people I want to tell, and then the rest can just hear it from gossip. ha!

Caffiene. I know I should give it up cold turkey. But I can't. I have had daily caffiene since junior high. I have cut back to 1/2 caf coffee and only a cup to a cup and a half. And some days I have a coke. I drank one tonight and you would have thought it came straight from heaven. (that's another craving). And if the other day is any indication...where I went without and a headache turned into a migrane taht ended with me puking...well, I won't be giving up my caffiene.

I have had a mimosa. Sue me. One of my miserable nights of existence where I knew everything was wrong and the world just sucked, I went to the grocery store and bought one of those little four packs of champagne. We all know in a non-pregnant state, I drink the whole bottle. Well, I got home pulled one out and stuck it in the freezer. I left it in a wee bit long and it got slushy. I mixed it with some OJ and voila! I sipped that Mimosa like the world would end when it did. It may have been the best damn mimosa I have ever had! Then I pushed the other 3 to the back of the cabinet where they wait warm and univiting until any special occasions arise. Like Columbus Day. Or Halloween.

So....that's just a little update from me. Sorry I've been missing. I'll try to do better now that I"m feeling better.

It's 10 pm. Feel Like Pukin'. Just Feel like it.

Barf.

So the nausea is slowly creeping in, and it's favorite time is night. I slept with crackers on my bed last night. If I woke up at any point, I had a cracker. Then I went back to sleep.

Ugh. I don't have much to say but...ugh.

March 7, 2011

That's my official due date. (though the internet had already told me that, so it's not like i didn't know!)

I had my first official prenatal appointment today. Just routine stuff. No peeks at Babycakes since I just got to peek yesterday. I go again in 4 weeks and that'll be the one that the anxiousness and worry kicks in. The 12 week appointment. I shudder just thinking about it. But I'm going to pray hard, and it's going to be all good.

I had some pictures taken recently and thought it would be a cute idea to do the chalkboard. I worried that I'm jinxing myself, but I have to shake that. Because the picture turned out as cute as I thought it would, and it'll look super cute in a frame! As for the picture with the bear (my favorite)...I bought him at FAO Schwartz in NYC in November '08...when I was pregnant the first time. I went in the store knowing that I wanted to buy my baby's first stuffed animal there. He was so cute, and his name was Charley! Right there on tag. I saw that and knew I was buying him. So I pulled him out thinking maybe the girls could come up with a creative way to use him in the picture. And they did! I love this picture.

Though I feel bad because I also took Bunny (this precious bunny I got years ago at Cracker Barrell and who has sat on my bedside table in hopes of one day giving it to a child of mine) and only Bear ended up in the picture. Sorry Bunny! I'll make it up to you the next go round!