Mama's Funny

So, Mama and I really don't talk about this whole baby process. Oh sure, she was totally on board when I got that positive last time. But we don't have long drawn out conversations about what I'm doing. Sometimes I wonder if she even remembers that I'm doing it at all! So I was surprised the other day when I was over helping her clean up Mema's house. I was getting ready to leave and she said, "You need to be careful." I was like, "why?" She said, "Because of those sperm in you, you need to be careful with all that crazy excercising!" this made me crack up. She might have even said "spermies" but I forget now. (and I don't excercise crazy! Maybe an hour 5 times a week now that I"m out for summer vacation!)

Anyways, as I'm still laughing about that she says she's got something to get out of the car for me. She hands me a basket that she took from my house and a book. Ready for the title? - "Balancing Pregnancy and Work" Too funny!

I guess she does have the whole thing on her mind!

1WW and Douche Bags!

So, nothing new to report here. No symptoms that I can't contribute to something else. I did feel a little "funny" last night for a brief period. I was at work and this weird feeling just came over me, but I blamed how dead it was and that THAT was what was making me feel...blah, for lack of a better word. So one week...one week til I either get a pink line or a pink pantyliner (too much information for you? Oops. Sorry. haha)

Funny little story though. 3 Douche bags walked out on their tab last weekend at work to the tune of $75 out of my pocket. I was irate.YOU DO NOT MESS WITH MY EFFIN' MONEY. Well, luck was on my side and I was able to get one of their phone numbers and find two of them on facebook. I called the one guy 3 days in a row and messaged two of them on facebook. No response! I warned them I'd let the owners handle it when they returned from vacation. The third night I called them I was in a funny mood. Some people were sitting at the bar I knew and I grabbed two other waitresses to listen in on my conversation. I called and left a message (making my voice crack and sound pitiful) saying, "I work a full time job. This is my part time job that I work 20-25 hours a week. I am PREGNANT and am going to be a single mother! I need my money!!!" i hung up the phone and one of the guys who knows me said, "SHELBY! ARE YOU PREGNANT?!" I was like, "hell no!!!"....

....at least that I know of...but he doesn't need to know that, now does he?!! haha

(and if you are wondering about the douche bags and my money...we looked on the video tape and had them jumping over the back fence, the owner called and threatened them with an arrest warrant, they FINALLy responded, and I got my money back PLUS a $50 tip. Jeez...I have no tolerance for 23 year old douche bags!)

Take Two (or is it Take 5?)

And we're off....Just came back from the doctor. The deed has been done.

I always wonder what other people in my situation do after the doctor leaves the room. After the doctor leaves you lay there for about 20 - 30 minutes. They even ask you if you want the lights on or off. To set the mood, maybe? I know women with their husbands probably sit there and talk. When J went with me that time, there I was with my knees in the air, she was in the corner chair, and we chatted. I assume a husband and wife would do that too. But the single gals like me? What do they do?

I can tell you what I did this time. I did not have the lights off (mainly because I had my book with me. I'm all about my summer reading!)So I stuck my earphones in and turned on my Ipod. I purposely picked one song to listen to this time. I played "Baby Mine" by Bette Midler and prayed. I prayed it would work. No matter how many scared and freaked out thoughts I have when it does work. And I will. Because I have freaked out everytime I've done this and especially the time it did work. I mean, who isn't scared in this process no matter what route they go? So i prayed throughout the whole song.That this time would be the time. Then I clicked on my "Low Key Music" playlist and started reading. (A Soft Place to Land by Susan Rebecca White justin case anyone cares). And I read until C, the nurse, came and said that was that.

And...that was that. Now I wait. It's so crazy how obsessive you become during this wait period. You try not to be. But it just can't be helped. I'll try not to think about it...put my mind on other things....finally clean my office room....scrapbook last summer's fabulous pictures into an album....blah, blah, blah...mainly try not waste countless minutes and hours googling every little thing about feritilzation, ovulation, and implantation!!!

Only two weeks time will tell.

And...here we go again.

Well, my first back into trying did not work this time. I started my period, packed my bags and headed to Key West. I would have headed to KW regardless (would have been a totally different trip, but would have done it.)

I was thinking since I was out of town, and the doctor's office likes to see me the first two days of my period that this month would be out. But I was wrong. They told me to come in when I got back. I went in this morning and started all over.

However, here's an interesting tidbit. Remember when I won the money on the scratch off lottery ticket at the beginning of the year? I had found the new donor I liked that was the....gasp....brunette with hazel/green eyes???LOL Well!!! when I tried last month he was my first choice and wasn't available, so I went with blond haired blue eyed choice #2. Guess what? My first choice was available this time and gotta love that the lady on the phone said, "My...he's a popular one!" That just made me laugh when she said it.

I go in again on Thursday and we'll see where it goes from there.

Dreams of Pink

So, once again, I dreamed of baby girls last night. Now in this dream it wasn't my baby girl, but my Key West crush's. (who is MORE than welcome to turn up in my dreams nightly, by the way!) However, he wasn't doing such a great job and I took over and took care of her. He was more than appreciative. And in the dream she kinda became mine too.

Now...the question is....Can't I have both?! Hottie C AND the baby girl. I DON'T think it's asking too much. ;)

Things that make you go...hmmmm.....

Okay. So here I am waiting. waiting. waiting. Doing nothing to get my hopes up though that's hard not to do. I was looking online last night and something definitely popped up that put a teeny tiny little smile on my face and made me go hmmmmm....

Meet Lanie...American Girl's "Girl of the Year 2010" doll...



How funny is that!? Now some of you might not find the humor or are scratching your heads. But Lanie is MY girl name. And the doll lover in me about freaked when I saw that the very first doll in this series, and who is only available in this year where I am going down the baby road, is a cute little, blue eyed blond named LANIE!

And even better...one of her key accessories...IS A HAMMOCK! A doll after my own heart!

Not trying to get my hopes up at the little things that seem like some kind of cosmic sign, but it's just the little things that make me go...hmmmm...

Baby Daddies and Random Playas!

So today was the day. Baby Daddy, activate! The process has begun again, and in two weeks from now we will know if my life is headed down a new road. 5/15. I remember thinking as I drove home, "well, this is a really nice day to get pregnant!" I got home from work last night and in bed around 1 am. Got up at 7 to head to Macon, crossing my fingers they wouldn't tell me to come back tomorrowk. Drove straight to work again at 10 when I was done. And am now home from work.... just waiting. And while waiting I think I'll go see Tim McGraw and Lady A in concert tonight. Might as well enjoy myself while I wait. hee!

But my thoughts turned from unknown baby daddy to known playa when i got in my car to come home from work. There on my text message was a random text from a guy that I met in Key West last summer. I actually met him the first week I was there and actually liked him. ACTUALLY LIKED HIM. Wanted to get to know him. Wanted him to actually CALL me. (for those that know me know what a big effing deal this was/is! HA!)and he turned out to only be, you guessed it, Mr. Playa. I was warned about him from mutual friends. To my dismay nothing came of it, and I enjoyed the rest of my summer. Move along, I say. But occasionally, in the past year, I'll recieve some random out of the blue text from him. Today was one of those days. How weird that I get one the day I do the deed!

I swear to God...if I end up being some real life version of "the Backup Plan" I'm selling my freakin' story to People magazine! ;)

Here I Am Again!

I know...I've been missing. Just been busy. But here I am ready to start the baby stuff all over again. I actually started it over a few months ago. Back to the doctor, starting all over since it had been several months, a new polyp to removed, wait two months and VOILA! It's go time. I actually just got back from having an ultrasound this morning and was asked to come back tomorrow. So tomorrow may be the day, but if not, DEFINITELY Sunday. I feel good about this month. Little signs here and there. I'll share those later...trying not to jinx myself!

So....me. The last few months I have been working, working, workikng my ass off. I am still at the part time job (though starting to get burned out on that) trying to pay down the credit cards. I am making headway. No plans to live in KW this summer, but you NEVER know. Guess we'll see what happens this month. Though I will be going to visit - pregnant or not! But in regards to the part time job... I will NOT be keeping the job for too long should I become pregnant. I have no desire to have a belly and be waitressing. so I feel my days there are limited. I will truly miss the money. TRULY. But I will love having my weekends BACK! Since October I have basically worked Friday/Saturday/Sunday nights with the exception of 2 weekends that I took copmletely off and two weekends where I took one night off. Can I say burnt out again?!...BURNT OUT.

I have had 2 baby related dreams. To this day I believe that the pregnancy I lost was a boy. However, something tells me this time it could just be a girl should I get pregnant. In one dream, I was with a friend and we both picked up a baby. Mine was the pink bundle and hers the blue, and in the dream it was clear that this was MY baby - not me just holding my friend's. In another (more recent) one, I had two girls with me. So, I found those very interesting.

So here I sit...wishing tomorrow would get here already. I like the idea of a February Valentine's Baby coming into my life. We'll see. We'll see.