Step Away From the Computer

Ebay is bad.
But Ralph Lauren at $12 a pop is good.

April is Out

So it seems this month is officially out for baby making. Techincally it doesn't have to be, but it just is. Let me give the reason.

I've done this strange crazy trip 3 times with the third time being the charm (or not so much charm because of the ending). The thing that was different with the 3rd try was the trigger shot. So, that is just the way I want to go again. Why spend all that money for it not to work when the trigger shot gives (what seems to be) better odds? My high school trip and the necessary perfect timing are going to more than likely collide this month. I could chance it all working out timing wise, but do I really want to pay for the two necessary ultrasounds only to not be able to go through with the actual insemination because I'm not in town? No. I don't.

I did rethink the trigger shot and think "well let me just do it with the OPK tests and not worry about the ultrasounds". That way if it works out where the timing needed is after my trip well there you go. I could try.

Also, I've had another two friends weigh in on my summer opportunity - both with different opinions. However, right now it is 3 to 1 with the "GO.DO IT. YOU CAN'T PASS THIS UP!" being the majority thought.

Geminis...we're wishy washy.

Ebay Victory!

Yes, yours truly, came out on top in an Ebay bidding war!!! I got the baby bedding that I fell in love with about a year and a half ago only for it to be discontinued. Well, now it is mine and more importantly my future baby's! Woohoo!

What To Do?!

So, an opportunity has come up that is too good to pass up. It's actually been out there for my consideration for about 3 months. I don't want to put the details out there yet, so or now I'll just keep them in my head. But it would push the baby thoughts to further in the summer. I just don't know what to do. Part of me says, "This is THE month to try again." The other part of me says, "You can do something you've always wanted to do. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity. Wait til July or August to start trying for a baby again."

I just don't know. I talked to two friends tonight about it and they said, "Shelby. You can't pass this up." and I know that they are right. But I was all ready to call my doctor tomorrow to tell them that I had started and it was time to get to trying again. Now I'm just confused.

It's just two things I want very much...but I have to pick one for now. And the thing is..the baby thing CAN happen again in a few months. This opportunity can't. Ahhhhhh.

What to do?

Babies On The Brain Again

Well...the desire to try again is back. It was always there but is back in full force. I think I mentioned that my original donor is no longer available, so I had to go searching yet again. For the past few weeks I'd look but nothing. Then yesterday I found the one that I want to use. Very similar to my original (blond, blue eyed, tall, athletic, outgoing) and the cutest little picture of when he must have been about 3ish.

AND THEN, to top it all off, I went to Ebay just with a hunch to look for the baby boy bedding that I had fallen in LOOOOOVE with when all this madness began only to have it be discontinued by the time I started trying. AND THERE IT WAS!!! SOMEONE HAS LISTED IT!!! Can you say an Ebay War is going to be ON LIKE DONKEY KONG in 7 days! :)

Totally a sign, right?!

So. I've been back and forth about if and when to start trying again. Well, not so much the if but definitely the when. I've had a few good trips that have completely lifted my spirits (traveling always does that for me), but sometimes I come down off the high upon returning. Back to reality. Believe me, my reality doesn't suck. But do I truly want to spend the rest of my life just looking forward to the next trip when there are other things I want to look forward to - like being a mom, seeing that first smile, feeling those little arms hug my neck.

For the past week or two (and especially the past several days), I've been spending a lot of time in thought of what to do. And within two days, two faces have crossed my path that have totally surprised me and made me think "totally a sign!" The first was Wednesday night when I was at the David Cook concert. There sitting in the row in front of me, about 3 seats, down was D - my nurse at Dr. C's office that was so awesome in my trying to get pregnant the last time. Totally took me off guard especially since the baby making has so been on my mind. Then last night I was at my part time job and saw a couple come in. I knew I recognized the woman's face, but for the life of me I couldn't place it. Well, I realized this morning who it was! J, the midwife that I was seeing once my pregnancy started.

Isn't that crazy?! Honestly...I think it's about time to start giving it a go!