March 7, 2011

That's my official due date. (though the internet had already told me that, so it's not like i didn't know!)

I had my first official prenatal appointment today. Just routine stuff. No peeks at Babycakes since I just got to peek yesterday. I go again in 4 weeks and that'll be the one that the anxiousness and worry kicks in. The 12 week appointment. I shudder just thinking about it. But I'm going to pray hard, and it's going to be all good.

I had some pictures taken recently and thought it would be a cute idea to do the chalkboard. I worried that I'm jinxing myself, but I have to shake that. Because the picture turned out as cute as I thought it would, and it'll look super cute in a frame! As for the picture with the bear (my favorite)...I bought him at FAO Schwartz in NYC in November '08...when I was pregnant the first time. I went in the store knowing that I wanted to buy my baby's first stuffed animal there. He was so cute, and his name was Charley! Right there on tag. I saw that and knew I was buying him. So I pulled him out thinking maybe the girls could come up with a creative way to use him in the picture. And they did! I love this picture.

Though I feel bad because I also took Bunny (this precious bunny I got years ago at Cracker Barrell and who has sat on my bedside table in hopes of one day giving it to a child of mine) and only Bear ended up in the picture. Sorry Bunny! I'll make it up to you the next go round!

Baby Just Wanted Some Key Lime Pie!

That's all.

2nd appointment today and the "optimistic" in "cautiously optimistic" became somewhat stronger! Babycakes is still a week behind but definitely grew. And had a nice strong heartbeat of 146. The doctor was much happier with today's visit. Not completely out of the woods but lookin' better.

So I'm going to chalk it up to my baby is going to love Key West as much as I do. Babycakes just needed my Happy Place vibes to grow, grow, grow.

And the Key Lime Pie and Conch Chowder probably didn't hurt a bit either! The kid knows good food. ;)

Key West....Sober.

I can handle it! But then...it IS my happy place, so I shouldn't be surprised.

H and I had a wonderful time. We got down there with no problem. Flying into KW is THE BEST! We spend the afternoons by the pool, ate good meals, enjoyed spending time with friends. Two or three friends noticed that I wasn't drinking much. I did the sprite with grenadine trick. And once a friend bought a round of shots. The shot looked just like my drink, and noone noticed me pour it out and refill my shot glass (did this within seconds). Then I took the shot with them. haha After that it just kinda became funny to order water to see what everyone would say. I gave them this story (which is really kinda truthful) that after spending my june trip as a drunken retard I was trying to experience "remembering" this trip. LOL Getting home was another thing though. Tropical Storm bonnie was coming through. We didn't make the first flight out, and the second - bigger - flight was cancelled! The next flight was obviously overbooked. We ended up getting the last....THE LAST...rental car out of KW and driving home. I'm still exhausted!

Tomorrow is my appointment. I don't feel any different than I did last week. No symptoms. I've just been praying alot and chanting, "Grow, baby, Grow". Hopefully, everything will be allright tomorrow afternoon and this little baby IS growing.

Oh, I hope so.

Verdict..."Cautiously Optimistic"

There is a baby. There is a heartbeat. However, babycakes is measuring smaller than where it should be. So we are being "cautiously optimistic" until Monday when I go again to make sure there is significant growth.

Started the morning out in a fantastic mood. Had fun getting my pictures taken with some photographers that i had won a free session with. And over breakfast with H we decided to hop on a plan....TONIGHT...to head to Key West for a few days! Well, we "hope" to hop on a plane. It's standby and there is only one flight available. But for $98.40 roundtrip straight to KW....we will take our chances.

But as I started driving to that appointment the knot in my chest and stomach started up. Anxiousness and worry kicked in big time. Which I knew it would because of the last time I went in for an ultrasound. And also because I don't FEEL pregnant. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that heartbeat. But then the anxiousness kicked in when I saw the numbers for size.

so now we wait. In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy a few relaxing days of sunshine in my happy place. I'm going to smile, laugh, think happy thoughts and send all that joy straight to Babycakes!

Prayers, people. Prayers.

Stress isn't good for the baby, right?!

So, this little story isn't so much pregnancy related as it is about the *wonderful* relationship mothers and daughters can have. Specifically - me and my mother! Even though we can yell and be impatient and get mad at each other, we can also just laugh our asses off one second later. And I love that! This is one such story.

It amazes me that I can stand in a line for hours to get to the stage at a Kenny concert, yet you put me in a room with my Mama and a computer and I LOSE MY EFFING MIND! For some reason, trying to teach her computer skills puts me right over the edge of insanity! I really do go into it TRYING to be patient, but I ain't gonna lie....I lose it within minutes. For one thing, she has the slowest computer and I don't do well with slow computers. Shit! I just went and bought myself a new laptop because of how old and slow mine was. The other thing is her "old school" mentality about technology and her fear, for lack of a better word, of fucking something up!!! I truly think that is what it is. She is scared to death she is going to do something wrong, delete something, send something to the wrong person! And the 3rd thing is...I sit there. I write down detailed step by step instructions during our hourS long tutoring sessions and weeks later she says, "well, I haven't done it because I don't know what to do." What?! Are you kidding me?

Today I went over to help her with some stuff on the computer. Sure enough my patience was gone within minutes dealing with the slow computer, the fact that there was the notebook of instructions that I had written down mooooonths ago, and how I would say something and she'd just sit there scared to death to hit enter. And to top it off, her BFF just created a facebook page for her,which throughout today's tutoring session she called "MY FACE". Get it? She's confusing myspace and facebook. Anyways, by the end of the two hours I was seriously a knot of stress. I had a headache pounding (we'll blame a little of  that on the lack of caffiene entering my body). I seriously thought I'd blow. And I didn't want to. I was trying really hard. So we finally just started cracking up every time she'd say "my face." When my stress level was at it's highest she asked something about "myface" again and I just looked at her and laughing said," Listen here....I'm going to slap YOUR FACE if..." and we both just busted out laughing.

And even better was when I showed her how to add an album to her facebook page and the fact that it took hours (okay, maybe minutes, but still....minutes?!) to choose a name for the album. She'd look at me all concerned and say, "What should I name it? Gathering? Get together? Reunion?" She would seriously clear it and write something else. I just laid my head down on the desk and once again we'd start laughing. It was so funny!

But the best was when I was showing her that N had sent her a message, how to click on it, and how to reply. Well,  this stupid ass security thing pops up. I was like, "WTF?" So she sent it that way and then I asked her to send another reply just to see if it would ask the security thing again. Mama said, "What should I say?" And knowing how slowly she types I said in a very dry, slightly annoyed pissed off tone (not really at her this time, but at the stupid facebook security thing...and with the whole past two hours still tied up in a stress knot in my chest), "Just type W-T-F!" And with the most innocent of voices she says, "What does that mean?" all the while about to type it when I answered in that same tone as before and
 said, "WHAT THE FUCK!" She squealed, "Noooooooooo!" and we both lost it and just started laughing our asses off!

Needless to say....that was the end of today's tutoring session. And I SURE could have used a big ass margarita.

Baby Girl Dream

I just woke up from my afternoon nap (I'm telling you...I HAVE to have it!) and had a very vivid dream about me with a little girl. A fat headed, bald headed, blue eyed little girl. Yeppers...she looked just like me! Come on strong Brantley/Wright genes!!!!

That's Baby Girl Dreams 3 vs Baby Boy Dreams 0.
(for anyone keeping score)

The Girls Ain't Havin' None of THAT!

So tonight I got cut from work early (I was still exhausted, it was dead, and basically I sacrificed myself though I could have used any money I made). Once I got home I decided I had enough energy to go for a walk around the neighborhood. However, ten minutes into the walk it started to rain. So I decided to jog home instead of walk.

And if my boobs could have talked at that exact moment it would have gone something like this...

Mary Ann would have screamed...."what in the HELL do you THINK you're doing?" at the same moment Ginger would have  yelled..."Oh no she DIDN'T?! OH NO SHE DIDN'T JUST TRY TO JOG!"

Ouch. Actually double ouch. Once I decided that I wasn't going to hold them and run the rest of the way (because believe me, I tried to do that without looking like I was a girl running down the road holding her boobs),  I decided I'd rather walk in the rain. Ouch.

I'll take Exhausted for $500, Alex.

Tired. Exhausted. Pooped. That's me.

For 2 1/2 weeks now I take a daily nap around 2ish. Yesterday it was noon. I mean, I had gotten up a whole hour earlier than previous days!!!

Well, it was back to the part time job last night, and boy, was I lagging! Usually I'm a gung-ho cleaner at the end of the night. I felt horrible because J did almost all the cleaning. And today?! Wow....I've been getting up at around 8:30 every morning, hitting the gym, etc. Not THIS morning. I woke up around 9:30 and laid back down an hour later and am still tired.

I had these grand thoughts (okay HOPES) of keeping the part time job until I start showing. But I don't know how well that plan is going to work out. School starts back up in two weeks and the thought of being back at work full time and then still doing the part time...not looking too good if this morning is any indication!

And the thought of that sucks because I make such good money at the part time gig. I'm still hoping i can hang on to the job until the end of September. If I can just hang on two more months (depending on  how soon I show cuz this be-oytch ain't waitressin' with my belly stickin' out! Don't want to...luckily, don't have to...)

So, the tired stuff is the only thing going on right now. KNOCK ON SOME EFFIN' WOOD! We'll see what next week brings. Oh boy!

Babycakes

Gotta have a nickname. Can't talk to this soon to be little person by saying "hey you". Last time I used "jellybean" which I still think is a cute little nickname. I just felt like I couldn't use the same one this go round. But what to use? I couldn't think of anything. Peanut? To common. Bean? I don't even like beans all that much, so why would I want to use that?!

Well, this morning I woke up and immediately the first thought I had was "babycakes!" And I couldn't kick it from my head. It just stayed there. That's actually a nickname I use for Charlie sometimes, and I think I have even used it for my niece and nephew.

So, Babycakes it is!

Vegas....SOBER.

Not a fan.

Don't get me wrong. I had fun. I'm not going to spend that much money and NOT have a good time. A fabulous dinner at N9NE. Two great Kenny Chesney concerts. An amazing Cirque du Soliel show. Some sight seeing. The best bed at the Hard Rock that I have EVER splept in during all the years of my traveling. And crazy antics at Club 1818 ( our room).

But there were no mimosas at breakfast. No mai tais by the pool. No martinis at dinner. And Vegas is just....well....a drinking vacation. Shit. What am I saying? Most vacations I go on are drinking vacations. Okay...ALL vacations I go on are drinking vacations. But the point of the story is that for me,  Vegas is a major DRINKING DESTINATION. And I can do without it sober.

I still had to take my daily nap (did I mention the bed? Pure Marshmallow Heaven!) Thank goodnes my appetite has not been affected, so I could at least enjoy food. The smoke at the Hard Rock casino got to me. I could only hang so long in the casino. And one night we were at a club when the smoke just was too much and I looked over at M and mouthed, "I don't feel well. I gotta get out of here." I did have one glass of champagne on our last night (which was the 4th of July) at dinner. I nursed that thing like I have never done before and savored every tiny sip.

So here's to Vegas...you've been an exciting friend that has shown me some good times.... May our paths cross again one day. And when it does, I'll salute you...double fisted!